Breakfast at Timothy’s 21

I love sharing the music I like. I also like making mixes. I also do this pretty rarely and as a result, I end up explaining the entire origin of Breakfast at Timothy’s. I’m not doing that this time.

This is a 12 song mix that receives the Coatesvillain seal of approval (if that matters to you). All songs are pop, R&B, dance or some variant as that’s the music I consistently go back to. Despite being someone who can dance (but rarely does it in public) it’s the music that makes me happiest, and I want to share that joy.

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Mashup Mondays: Kids See Ghosts x Akira

In a past life, I was a video editor.

I dabbled in it in college, but it wasn’t until I got a job editing wedding videos that it became something I did daily. I had only been to one wedding, but my options were to swim or fail miserably trying. The more I worked at it the better I became and the more I loved editing. The problem was when I got home I didn’t have the time nor energy to work on improving my skills. In the two years since I left that job, I haven’t gone back to editing.

This year I started to dip my toe back in with mashups. The idea was to challenge myself and see if I could put music under a clip and make it work. I will share what I have with the expressed goal of not only doing more but sparking my creativity in other areas (including more expansive editing).

A little on this video:
I grew up loving Akira even though I admittedly didn’t understand much of the story (I still need to read the graphic novel). This opening motorcycle scene is epic and when I started doing mashups I desperately sought something that fit. The problem was nothing did. Insert Kids See Ghosts. This year was a year of change and one of those was how I don’t really fuck with Kanye West like I used to. Yet, I still couldn’t stay away from listening to his new releases. This one, and Teyana Taylor’s K.T.S.E., had me stuck. So basically I tried to blend the two and I feel like it worked well.

Comment of the Weeks: September 3 – 14 – Blood Orange’s Serve

The internet is terrible except for when it’s great.

Last week Devin Hynes, who records under the name Blood Orange, went to Instagram to post a picture from his Interview Magazine feature. The picture features Hynes in a trench coat and showing a ton of leg. A fan responded in shock, but Hynes fired back with perhaps the best possible response.

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Devin Hynes, Blood Orange, Instagram, Comment of the Week

One word was all it took. I laughed incessantly when I saw the response. It was perfect, and it didn’t attempt to explain anything. Sadly, the Instagram post no longer exists. To see more of the shots from the photo shoot check out his Interview Magazine feature.

Before I go let me suggest you listen to Blood Orange’s Negro Swan album. It’s available anywhere you buy music, and anywhere you stream. Like all of his albums it is a work of art, and you will not regret it.

#transparentTuesday* Week 2: Somehow it’s Thursday

I’m a big fan of music.

Years ago I had a tumblog called Breakfast with Timothy’s. On this blog, my sole goal was to write about and share only the music that I loved. I spent a lot of time “digging” for music on Soundcloud, Twitter, and other blogs for something new. It was an obsession, it was a passion, but ultimately it was a secret.

I ran two Twitter accounts. One was for general usage, and the other was for the blog. Despite my general account having a larger following I never once posted a link to my posts. Why? I was ashamed of this labor of love that consumed a great deal of my free time.

While I never portended to be an expert on music the idea of sharing to a wider audience made me feel like a fraud. Not only did I not “know enough,” I felt as if my writing wasn’t good enough. I felt that people who I conversed with on twitter, who pursued careers in music writing, were inherently better than I was. So I stayed on the sidelines.

A deeper reason for this shame? This feeling of fraudulence? I was deep in the throes of depression. I worked, went to school full-time, and put all my energy into a project I hid. My motivation for writing died, and the blog posts slowly came to a halt.

The death knell for Breakfast at Timothy’s came when Tumblr flagged multiple posts for illegally posting songs. I did what many under this dark cloud would do… I completely deleted the blog.

#transparentTuesdays

Years ago, my psychologist asked what I thought my life would be like if I didn’t suffer from social anxiety.

The question was a chance to picture a world where I was free to do what I wanted, be who I wanted, and live relatively free of limits. It was a question that was set to tap into the inner optimist. The problem was the question filled me with fear.

Why? Why would thinking about a life without this severe limitation make me uneasy? It is because my entire life was defined by the very limitation. To lose it would be to unsettle everything and set it into uncertainty. I didn’t see a freedom being gained, I saw a definition being lost. I found an unhealthy comfort in social anxiety but I knew it. Whatever existed in the world beyond those limitations was strange and to be feared.

Over the years since I have worked on myself in fits of stops and starts. Through this journey, I have, hopefully, been trekking closer to the person I want to be. Who is that person? I don’t know, but I hope I recognize him when I see him.

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In November of 2016, I got a job at the NBA office in Secaucus. My official title was Assistant Video Coordinator. My duty was to transcode files and review files sent up from Turner. Basically, I just watched basketball, talked shit with coworkers, and waited for something to go wrong (they often did).

One way things went wrong was at home. My marriage was on the ropes, but it wasn’t any different than it ever was. We coexisted, but we worked together to manage raising a child. It wasn’t romantic, by any means, but we were a team. The job at the NBA was a night job. It was also an hour away. We went from being together every day to seeing each other for an hour at night, and a half hour in the morning. We merely passed Cameron back and forth like a baton.

I went to the NBA thinking it was the next step in my career in video. What it was instead, was the first step to a huge change in my life. But change, even necessary change, has been the bane of my existence. Sometimes the idea of changing will cause anxiety that will freeze me in paralysis. With the paralysis comes a feeling of helplessness comes… you guessed it… depression.

I spent the next nine months trying to half-heartedly save the marriage. In truth, there was nothing to save. Milk doesn’t salvage stale cereal, but I thought there’d be hope. I went back to therapy and began to change how I was. I would go in on Thursday afternoons and feel like I was making monumental changes only for any adjustment to be seen as minute. There was a wide gulf between us and my reach wasn’t long enough.

If I was honest, I didn’t want to be married any longer. I said as much to my therapist once, I said it to my ex once, I spoke on frustrations of the situation to friends at other times. Yet, I found myself clinging on and attempting to resist the inevitable.

Why did I do that? I was afraid of change. I wasn’t happy. The relationship was cold, but I didn’t want to move on. I held on not tightly, not convincingly, but I refused to let go.

Out of all the people who were married in my family, only my brother Rich, my Aunt Janis, and my sister Polly never divorced. So it wasn’t foreign, but I didn’t want to fail the same way. So I held on as she looked for a house. I held on hoping that things would miraculously get better even as we made a pact that we’d separate were things not to get better.

In October of 2017, we both moved. She moved ten minutes away in the same town. I moved 45 minutes down I-295. Even with almost an hour of distance, I held on. I held on to hope that one day we’d all be under one roof again. That we would be the family we weren’t the first go round.

By this time I was no longer working at the NBA. Instead, I reversed course and took on a teacher’s assistant job in a high school. Which became something that fulfilled me and gave me the direction I thought I was getting when I began working in Secaucus.

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Almost a year later, and I’ve had time to grown in my skin and to reflect. I’ve given myself space, and I’ve finally let go. Not only did I let go, but I fought off the urge to shove someone else in the opening my life.

I’ve worked too much and struggled a lot, but the change wasn’t scary. Not once I let it settle in. Instead, the change let me realize what I wanted and who I wanted to be. What I wanted to get back.

I no longer look at divorce as a failure. To quote Dan Savage: “every relationship ends except for the one that doesn’t.”

When I wake up in the morning I don’t see the person I want to be. I don’t come home to see a place that I strive to live in forever. What I see are things that I’m happy with now, things that I live with now but ultimately things I don’t have to be stuck with for the rest of my life. Why?

I don’t know, maybe change isn’t so bad after all.

Comment of the Week: November 24

So this week is a bit of a cheat.

It’s a tweet, not a comment. But what is Twitter if not a living, breathing (except for the bots) comment section?

Human trash receptacles, Tomi Lahren, took to Twitter to share an image on Thanksgiving. The image (as seen below) contrasts WWII soldiers and a kneeling Colin Kaepernick. The intended effect was as obvious as it was obtuse and not standing in fact.

Tony Posnanski, among others, was having none of it.

 

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Now Tomi, THAT is food for thought. Well said, and to think it was well under 180 characters too. Double win.

Podcast You Should Hear: The Dan Le Batard Show

Podcast: The Dan LeBatard Show
Genre: Sports, comedy
How can I listen?: Apple Podcast, Stitcher, ESPN Podcenter, Tune In

What’s it about?: The LeBatard Show is a daily sports radio show that refuses to be a sports radio show. They refuse to take sports too seriously and instead, they opt for finding the humor or interesting things in sport that no one else is talking about. They also have no fear of abandoning sports altogether and going off into who the hell knows what topic.

The more time you spend with the show the more rewarding it is. To get there you have to realize what it is not. It is not a show that talks in-depth about games before they happen, it is not a show that makes predictions or peddles in sports cliches. Instead, it is a show that makes fun of sports and everything around it for being so serious. In return, the crew refuses to take themselves too seriously and they have fun in the process.

Sometimes, I wonder what the show sounds like to the uninitiated. What do you think when you hear them talk to Tim Legler about his Halloween decorations instead of the upcoming NBA games? Or when they bring Ron Magill on to answer animal questions? Or why so many callers refer to Tim Kurkjan as Tom and no one bats an eye? If you have any of those questions it probably means that “You don’t get the show!” but that doesn’t mean that you can’t.

The show is centered around its namesake, Dan LeBatard, an award-winning journalist formerly of the Miami Herald. LeBatard is joined by co-host Jon “StuGotz” Weiner, producers Mike Ryan, Billy “Guillermo” Gill, Roy Bellamy, Chris Cote, and Allyson Turner. It is the best-produced show you’ll hear, but what makes it even better is each person has their own character and get their moments to shine (really waiting on a new Roy Top 10).

The LeBatard Show airs five days a week on ESPN radio with a local hour airing before on 790 the Ticket in Miami. All four hours are available (sans commercials, and bits with music) each afternoon for listening in podcast form. There is also a daily best-of version that I refuse to listen to because the reward of the show is hearing everything and not feeling left out when the polls come around.

If Seinfeld was the show about nothing (it wasn’t, the show on the show was but I digress), the LeBatard Show is the radio show about nothing and it’s why I love it.

Length: 4 daily podcasts ranging around 30 minutes a piece, best of podcast is about 60 minutes
Similar Podcasts: Fiyastarter Podcast, The Right Time with Bomani Jones